Knowing full well that all of you would love to join me on my adventures and travels in India, I thought you might like to vicariously travel with me on my last Indian experience.
27 May
1500 – Leave Hong Kong. Beautiful clear day, 28c, low humidity, soft breeze blowing in across the South China Sea. Dragon boat race day.
1800 – Arrive Bangkok for brief stop. Stay 1,5 hours in airplane due to bad weather in Bombay (bad omen).
2130 – Arrive Bombay about 3/4 full of beer, scotch, wine and brandy. (Bombay looks and smells better that way).
2200 – Still on plane as the loading ramp is broken.
2230 – Portable stairs save the day (night). Unfortunately it’s now pouring rain and since the bus is out of order, must walk 2 blocks in rain, to terminal.
2300 – Baggage rack grinds somebody’s luggage to hamburger and jams the only working baggage conveyor. My wet, soggy luggage and equipment arrive 30 minutes later.
2330 – Customs says I cannot possibly enter India with all that Medical equipment. After long discussions and much searching of luggage and equipment and 1,5 hour wait (I had decided not to make any contributions to the Indian Custom’s Officer’s Benefit Fund), all the correct forms are finally located, completed, inspected, stamped, verified, checked, rechecked, and signed, I’m finally allowed to leave with my soggy luggage. Welcome to India!
28 May
0130 – Taxi ride uneventful, not counting the squashed dog, arrive at hotel. I now find out, India is in the middle of a communications strike- no telephones, no fax, no telex, no reservation, sorry. After 30 minutes discussion, finally convince them to let me have one of their 157 vacant room as I felt pretty sure no further guests would be arriving tonight as we were the last flight to arrive in Bombay. Finally, to bed at 0230.
0500 – Get up and leave hotel in pouring rain for domestic airport to catch 0700 flight to Bangalore. Wrong. 0700 flight cancelled and so was my reservation, however, my soggy luggage and I are waited-listed on the 1100 flight. (no small feat)
1100 – 1100 flight cancelled. Re wait-listed on 1430 flight.
1430 – 1430 flight delayed. No estimate of departure, but stand by for announcement.
1500 – Can’t understand a single word of any announcements but a sympathetic lady says flight is rescheduled for 1830.
1730 – Fooled a bunch of folks. Flight leaves but I luck out and get a seat as does my now dried and wrinkled luggage.
1900 – Uneventful flight except for the guy sitting next to me to whom the word “soap” would, I’m sure, have the same meaning as sticking burning slivers of wood under your fingernails.
1930 – Eyes stop watering almost immediately upon leaving the plane. Local phones are only working part-time but after eleven trys finally reach Ashok who sends driver to get me – he’s totally amazed I showed up as he has been unable to talk to anyone outside of Bangalore for the past 6 days.
2030 – Arrive hotel. Nice place. Friendly people. Weather great. Rest of week goes well except for inability to send or receive any communications. However, that wasn’t all bad.
31 May
02 June
1700 – Leave meeting for airport to catch 1800 flight to Bombay.
1800 – Flight slightly delayed until 0300, maybe. Spend the next 9 hours swatting 10,000 mosquitoes, (all of which I’m sure, have Indian aids), various assorted flies, and chasing away dogs, goats, and the “dog lady” (she walks on all fours begging money) who wander continuously through the terminal. Watch a local tribal family camped out in the airport lobby, eyeball the goat like it was a “bockwurst with legs”, but the airport police finally arrive, round them up with gentle prods with their cane poles, and chase them from the airport. No, not the goats ….. the local tribal family! Goats watch ruckus and then wander off to the bathrooms for a drink of water. Excuse me!
0300 – Go outside with the locals to use “nearest wall”. It’s much cleaner than the bathroom. Not sure what the ladies do, probably don’t want to know.
0200 – Developing a bad case of “masala breath” but not to worry, so is everyone else. Dogs and goats are sound asleep. So are all the airport police. Except for one guy, who, for the last hour, has been busily exploring previously unexplored, and I used to think unreachable, regions in his upper nasal passage. Hopefully he won’t discover anything, but I change my seat just in case.
0230 – Indian tribal family returns, sets up camp on floor of terminal, goes through 15 minutes of chanting to Allah, then everyone stretches out on the floor and promptly goes to sleep.
0400 – Flight finally leaves. Not bad, only 9,5 hours late. (Indian tribal family was still sacked-out when I left)
0600 – Arrive Bombay. Flight uneventful. Nice meal. One hard candy, one soft candy, and 1/2 cup of lukewarm tea with semi-curdeled milk.
0700 – Arrive hotel. They lost reservation I made when I was there 5 days ago, but they now know me so I get a room anyway. Nice folks. Especially since there were now only 123 vacant rooms.
0730 – In bed and asleep in 30 seconds.
0800 – Operator calls to ask if the room is O.K. I mumble something about the marital status of her parents and go back to sleep.
0830 – Doorbell rings and when I open the door, there stands a grinning, 5’2” 40 kilo, Indian lad with his head bobbing side-to-side as if it’s about to topple from his neck, offering me my free “Welcome to Searock Sheraton” continental breakfast. Of course I was impressed with his hospitality, but I killed him anyway and went back to bed.
The balance of my escape from India was relatively normal and as soon as my clothes are disinfected, autoclaved, and returned from the cleaners, business will, of course, return to normal
Next trip I get to go to New Delhi. Those of you wishing to accompany me should get your requests in as soon as possible.
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