A very unique experience was had by me recently. I wrote my first Country Western song ( I believe it will be a hit) entitled ‘Holy Moley, it’s just me and my Foley. (A foley for the under privileged is a urinary catheter inserted , where no man wants such a thing; assists in your being able to urinate past a swollen prostate. Often times, such a catheter causes significant bleeding and discomfort. During a recent procedure it was felt in my best interest to have such a catheter (or garden hose) inserted for relief. The Nurse doing the insertion was quite beautiful and my comment to her as she grabbed my member to assist in the insertion was ‘This is not how I envisaged our first date.’ Her response was you do realize what I am holding in my left hand and the potential for real pain if you do not behave? I winced…. Her assistant chose that moment to enter the room in all of my exposure. I could not resist saying , ‘oh good, a twosome’. Not a good plan but relief was at hand (no pun intended).
Multiple days later in the Urologists office again being catheterized by a beautiful nurse. Suffering the indignity of wearing a diaper etc. Again it was pointed out that I should behave. (A trend) The diapers indeed are interesting with the frills on the side. What to do with the catheter tail remains a mystery. Reminds me of the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz; unfortunately I cannot fly. There remains the fear that if the cath is pulled my arms and legs will suddenly jump outwards.
Would I recommend this to anyone else; absolutely not.
Bleeding has finally stopped. This after multiple catheters, ablations etc. Some fun! Now of course we have to address the AFIb issues. Having had three cardio-versions. These consist of being schocked by a debriliator in an effort to get back into normal sinus rhythm. That of course has nothing to do with a runny nose. All three failed. The next suggestion is a cardiac ablation. This requires a catheter up your femoral artery and then ablating nerves in your left atrium. More fun. Not to worry I am told, all the scar tissue will insure the procedure is successful. Not true another cardio-version scheduled. Should work says the Dr. he has a sense of humor. Oddly enough, for the last cardio-version, same nurse as the one introducing the first Foley catheter. We are now old friends that shared embarrassing moments in the past. For my money, Nicole is wonderful.
Shared my experience
Let me know your thoughts.
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